Hannah had her heart cath today to see exactly what was going on. What they found.... They found that Hannah's condition is more serious and needs attention soon. They are thinking before Thanksgiving but we will not know for sure until the 16th. The hole in her heart is bigger than they originally thought and there is so much blood flow to the lungs that they can't even measure it.

Hannah is already showing signs of heart failure which in most tertrology of fallout babies(tet babies) they don't show signs of t until later down the road... the hole in her heart is causing the process to move much faster. Dr. Carlson (cardiologist) will meet with the surgeons and other team members on the 16th and we should have a date by then. She is campaigning for November.

Hannah did really good until about 3pm and then she started getting a fever and as time went on it got worse rather than better. She was supposed to get discharged at 5pm. That did not happen. It is 11:30pm and I am sitting in a hospital room (yet again) with my 4 week old. Her fever has broke and they took all sorts of tests. When the cardiologist comes in for rounds tomorrow morning we should know more and how long they plan on keeping her. They say 2 days is standard procedure for babies that get a fever and are under 60 days of age... we will see ;)

Ricky and Caleb came to visit for a while and then went home to get some rest. That is the hardest part of this entire situation. I have two children and both need me. How do you choose? It is the worst feeling... I feel horrible. I want to go home with Caleb, sleep in my own bed, and get some rest but then I feel like I am being selfish... I should of course stay with my baby who is in the hospital. So that's what I did, I chose to stay with Hannah and Ricky went home with Caleb. It is so hard as a mom to do that. I just have to remind myself that Ricky is here with me and we can work as a team. We can do this... one day at time. At least that is what I keep telling myself, but sometimes I can't help but feeling a little unsure. So at times I am not as strong as I would like to be.

When Hannah goes in for her heart surgery they say it can take up to 14 hours and then at least 3-5 days in the PICU for recovery. What in the world am I going to do for 14 hours in a waiting room? One thing for sure is I know the gospel is true, that Jesus lives and loves me, that my Heavenly Father is a loving God, and that families can be together forever.

I have an amazing husband.. he is my best friend, he holds me and comforts me when I am sad. He is a strong man and works hard to provide for his family. Caleb is wonderful and has such a sweet spirit, Hannah is our super trooper. I am surrounded by many friends and family who would help with a moments notice. Thank you!

With love,
Sam