Flood of Emotions Day 7

Today started out with a bang for me. I woke up and got ready for the day, as Rick and I were leaving the room the phone rang. It was the nurse calling to inform us that Hannah was moved to a shared room so that another baby could have a room with isolation. I just started to cry. Before I begin I would like to make note that I know my thoughts and feelings were selfish and that I was crying for really no reason at all. I would also like to add that I haven't cried through this entire process and I think what happened this morning broke the camels back and I was due for a good cry. I am tired emotionally and physically. I just want to go home and be with my kiddos and Ricky.

Okay, so we get to the hospital and I am upset because my baby is now in a room with another little kid and I don't think this is okay. Her chest was just closed yesterday and I do not want her to get sick. I do not want another person I don't know in the room with my baby. She is still fragile. Then I felt bad for feeling this way. I know that every baby and child in the PICU is in here for reason, I know that my baby is not the first to share a room, I know that this all sounds really silly and selfish. I am also at the same time sad for this other baby in the room because for some reason unknown to us her mom is not allowed to visit or is on restrictions to visit. So my emotions are mixed. I then had another mother and a nurse tell me it is okay to feel this way, Hannah is my baby and my first priority and so naturally I would feel this way about sharing rooms. I cried for 2 hours. I am done crying now and good to go :) I still feel the same way about this situation but it is what it is and I'm dealing.

We then go to a nearby mall for lunch. We needed a breather. While we were at the mall we stopped into a department store and one of the sales girls congratulated me on being pregnant. I didn't know what to say so I said thank you. I wasn't upset... it is to be expected, I am swollen from stress and did just have a baby one month ago but after this morning it really didn't help me feel better. I could look at it as a compliment... at least she thought I was pregnant and not overweight :) I can always count on Rick to make me feel amazing. As we were walking back to the hospital he twirled me around looked in my eyes, told me I was beautiful and gave me the sweetest kiss :0 It reminded me of something you only see in movies!

Happy moments: They started weaning Hannah from the breathing tube today and as of 7pm she is done! They took it out and she is breathing on her own! What now? She has 3 more meds to come off of and feedings to work on. We are going to try nursing so wish us luck! One step at a time. Hannah calls the shots as of now... it all depends on how her body responds and so far she is doing great! We will still be in the hospital for another week but we are one day closer to going home!

Before

After

What a sweeter peters :)