How I have Felt

I would like to share a few of my feelings on how I have felt since the birth of our sweet Hannah. I of course have cried and have had my hard days, some days are better than others. I have had this overwhelming sense of peace and comfort through this entire process of getting more information. I know that this feeling is from my Heavenly Father and I know that I would not be doing as good as am if I didn't have the gospel in my life. It gives me some understanding that would be lost without it.
My husband is also an amazing strength to me and if it weren't for his diligence there would not be so many updates...so I am grateful that he makes these posts.
It is hard, it is not what I expected.
My Hannah first off is a normal child, we do not know anything about the extent of what vision she will have and I have high hopes for her. As of now the battle we are fighting has to do with her heart and getting her the surgery she needs to be strong. It is because of her heart that she can not nurse or use a bottle....it is way too much work for her little heart to do all the things involving eating and keeping her heart rate down. So until she gets her heart taken care of she will be using a feeding tube. Hannah's brain development is normal.... we are to treat her eyes as she can see until we learn otherwise. We will not know anything for sure about her eyes until she is older.
I am tired, not because I have a newborn at home but because I am going back and forth from the house to the hospital, getting up every 2 hours to pump to make sure Hannah is getting my milk, and getting up early today for what was the beginning of her surgeries. It is scary not knowing what the future holds but I am comforted by the spirit that all is going to be okay. I have had this feeling of all will be okay from the moment they told us she had to taken cesarean.
The thing I struggle the most with is the overwhelming feeling of how to give my attention to both children that need my love when we can not be together as a family.
I am grateful for Kayleen (grandma Teed) and the time she allows me to be with Hannah at the hospital while she takes care of Caleb. Caleb has not been forgotten and is doing wonderful. He is an amazing little man! Thank you to all who have helped with meals, to those that have kept us in their prayers and thoughts, and to those that have offered help (I may be calling). My husband is wonderful... sometimes he pulls the plug on me and makes me stay home to get my rest but I know it is for my own good. Often times I spend the morning with Hannah, the evening with Caleb, and then after Caleb goes to bed Rick and I will spend a few hours of the night with Hannah.
These are some of the things I felt and we are doing good. Thank you again for all the love and support!

Sam